Monday, January 5, 2009
The Great Return
Two fabulous weeks off for the holidays and I must say I enjoyed each and every day. With Walden put to rest and my job on hiatus, I played, read, slept, lunched with friends, and explored the night which usually evades me during the school year. I graded no tests, fretted not once over my students, and generally felt free! I kept waiting to feel a tad quilty, but the feeling never came. A teacher's work day helped lessen the shock of returning kids. Did anyone else feel like an adult this holiday? So often I mentally 'take the kids' home with me worrying about this and that. I don't feel hardened; I feel like I've taken a giant mental health step. I wonder how other teachers learned to 'let go' long before I did?
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I struggle with "letting go". I spent most of this break secretly gathering things for one of my extremely unfortunate students to have a Christmas. Then after I know I helped supply him with a great Christmas, I kept wondering about him and his family. I wondered what would happen now. Did they save any of the food gathered for them. I know this child only eats two meals a day at school, so what happened when we were out. Please tell me how you let go! I would love to feel free even for a weekend, maybe I am just to new at this teaching thing!
ReplyDeleteYour posting touched me as I know you are sincere in your fears and concerns about this child as well as all the others that will come through your classroom door. I learned from a dear friend, some time ago, that my primary job is to educate these children in order to move them as far from poverty as possible. My goal is to break the cycle of poverty and misfortunate. However, I do know that I am limited in what I can do and certainly not able to permanently "fix" anything. Be glad that you have a wonderful heart, but understand that you can only do so much before it impacts you in such a way that you are overwhelmed or consummed with the troubles of your kids. Keep yourself healthy and be satisfied with what you can do. Know that somewhere along the line another good soul will pick up the task. Your kids are blessed to have you in their lives.
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